How Do You Rebuild?

It’s a simple – and complicated – question, right?  Essentially since 2020, I’ve been asking myself yearly:

How do you rebuild after injury?

How do you rebuild after months of caregiving and grief?

How do you rebuild after cancer?

How d you rebuild after reconstruction surgery?

How do you rebuild after cancer again?

The answer is always the same: one step at a time. 

The first few times I’ve had to rebuild, it was fairly simple:  do some base mileage, throw in some speed, maybe give myself a little extra time.  Each subsequent setback has resulted in a further loss of consistency.  I often think about the box car averages that we talked about in my Electronics class in grad school.  Between years 2018, 2019, and 2020, my average training levels were significantly higher than 2023, 2024, and 2025.  Coming back in 2021 was a lot easier than coming back in 2026. After years of a decreasing average, that’s going to take its toll. 

As a coach, I often see the difficulties with rebuilding immediately blamed on age.  It would be ridiculous for me to say I’ve had 3 surgeries in 18 months and blame the fact I’m not back in shape yet on being 18 months older.  This is such a pet peeve topic of mine and a topic for another day…

But, we can call it what it is:  the last time I’ve been this out of racing shape was when I first became a runner. 

I am constantly asked what I’m training for next.  I think, in a perfect world, most people expect an inspiring answer about how I’m going to pick up where I left off and try to run a PR marathon. 

The real answer is that I just don’t know right now what’s next.  I remember when Des Linden told people after the Olympics she was training for life.  People called that a brave statement. 

I call it reality.

The last 5 years of my life have also changed my life perspective, both out of necessity and reflection.  It’s hard for me to think of training and racing goals as a be-all-end-all to my life, especially in the way they once were.  Being fit and healthy was and continues to be a huge reason I’ve bounced back so fast from cancers part I and II.  At the front and center, I don’t struggle with the motivation to get out the door and run or lift to maintain that aspect of my health.

Racing is a different story.  Do I want to be fast again?  Absolutely.  I miss how it feels to be choosing what’s hard.  I miss the feeling of 20-mile runs feeling easy.  I miss the way high mileage makes me feel.  More than anything, I miss a bad week of training being my biggest problem in life. 

I miss this.

But, I also have a significant way to go before I can buckle down and train seriously.  I need to rebuild literally everything at the moment:  endurance, speed, speed-endurance, strength, functional strength, running economy, etc.  Jumping straight back into (serious) racing would likely be a one-way ticket to injury, disappointment, and burnout.  Unfortunately for my Aries heart, it doesn’t happen overnight.

People have often projected how they feel about not having a race on the calendar onto me in the last few years.  Yes, in a perfect world I would be training for a goal, because also in a perfect world I wouldn’t have been hanging on for dear life the last few years.

I’ve also worked hard to make sure my life is multifaceted and that my identity doesn’t rely on my racing calendar.  I have many hobbies and interests outside of running.  I’m sure if I was coming out of these setbacks with running as my only outlet or identity, I would feel much different than I do right now. 

I've been taking pottery classes. This piece is called "I had pottery class the day I found out I had thyroid cancer"

Just like with the 50K I had planned to run in October, I will know when I am ready to pursue a race.  I always do. 

If you’re coming back from a long layoff like me, I’ve got some rebuilding tips for you:

Know Your Focus

My long-term goal is to get back to racing.  There are many process goals I’ll need to hit along the way:

-rebuild mileage [goal: 5 – 6 days of running each week; build as body allows]

-rebuild strength [goal:  lifting 2-3x per week; post-mastectomy goal:  unassisted chin ups]

-rebuild speed [goal: strides once a week and one speed work each week]

-track progress [goal: aim for a 5K/10K every 4 - 6 weeks]

Start Small

Example:  Post-mastectomy, I’ve had to rebuild my range of motion and upper body strength.   My goal is to be able to do a chin up by March 8th (2-year breast cancer anniversary).  I’m starting with flexed arm hangs, which doesn’t sound like much, but I’m seeing improvement each week.

In running, starting small can mean anything.  I love to tell my athletes who are struggling to get started to aim for 10 minutes a day.  You can do anything for 10 minutes.

Avoid All-Or-Nothing Thinking

When you’re coming back, it can feel really unmotivating to be doing just a fraction of what you’re used to.  That attitude can turn into an all-or-nothing mindset.  That all-or-nothing mindset can become, “I don’t have time to do what I planned, and it’s such a small amount anyway, I won’t do anything today.”  RESIST. THE. URGE.  Anything is something.  Do what you can and pick up as normal tomorrow.  Because if you skip today, you’ll probably add to what you’re supposed to do tomorrow.  It will be unrealistic and you either will skip that day too (since you can’t do everything), or beat yourself up about not being where you think you “should” be, even though that “should” was probably too much to begin with. 

Build Something

Running is a lot of fun when you’re chasing PRs.  It’s a lot less fun (at least for me) when you’re a LONG way from anything that resembles that.  How do you get dopamine going?  I heavily rely on visual logs and building.  For instance, it doesn’t do much for me to have my watch automatically upload data onto Strava.  Instead, I like to visually graph each mile with a different color in a notebook.  I like to add to a picture I’m drawing each time I lift weights.  I like to set goal posts and reward myself when I hit them.  Building creates a constant reminder that I’m working toward something, even if I don’t know what that is yet. Right now, I'm drawing a peacock and adding a piece to the picture every time I strength train.

Accept It Won’t Be Linear

I’m nursing some heel pain right now because – shocker! – I came back too fast.  There will be ups and downs.  Expect them.